Slowing down

I am again giving up on a business idea. It is just too much. I simply cannot sustain life right now and do this business that I am trying to build. It is just so much work and every time I think about it I get so overwhelmed that I start to get a nervous tick. Butterflies build up in my stomach (not the good kind) and my mind goes into some kind of overdrive.

There is just so much for me to learn and I have so many other responsibilities (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, quality time with family) that won't get done if I pursue this business. I don't want to be one of those moms that is always thinking about all the things she could be doing when she is spending time with her kids, or worse, sticking them in front of the TV so that she can work.

At the same time, it saddens me to think that I am giving up on it. I really think I could make money on it. I'm not giving up completely, just postponing it. I am going to build a website with all the content that I would like to have on it, then use it for a bit, then see where I end up. 

Still, I could have a link for purchasing...just in case...maybe so. I will do a few sketches and see. 

I feel a little aimless right now.

still stuck, but why?

It has been so long since I have posted here. This is one of my four blogs (yes, four). Not that I have that much to say, (obviously, since my last post here was over a month ago). This blog was created to go in tandem with the last business that I started and failed at. The nice thing about starting businesses online is that there is little cost in doing so. The only real cost is the time spent in the start up.

Now, this blog mainly serves as a write-out-my-issues-and-inspirations-while-starting-an-online-business platform.

I am not sure that I need or even want to continue with this blog. Lately, I have just been flying by the seat of my pants. And when I say "flying" I mean sitting. I have not had a chance to work on anything business related in about 2 weeks. My actual job has been pretty demanding lately. I hosted an Art show at my school. It was really good! But really time consuming.

When I get home, it is all family time, and when the kids go to bed, it is dishes and QT. Which hasn't really happened today. I don't really know what I am trying to get across here. I want to continue with this business venture, but I am afraid that I won't have the time to commit to it.

Time is always an issue. I really need to believe that this service is necessary to continue in its creation.

I just finished a book Start With Why by Simon Sinek. It was really good and made me think a lot about why I do the things that I do. Not only in my business but also in my life.

Why do I want to start this particular business?

1. I want to have the opportunity to stay home if I want to.
2. I want to have lessons of my own that can taught while I am not there if necessary.
3. I want kids to be able to work at their own pace.
4. I want to connect with other art teachers to see if there is a better way of doing the things that I do.

Are those good whys? Is it too much? Simon said his why was "To inspire"...It sounds so empty, so...vague. But should I make mine something easier to remember?

Maybe it ought to be something like "To provide students with a comprehensive learning platform that will allow them to learn at their own pace and in their own learning style." Perhaps that is my why and the other stuff is just the effects of that why. I like that. Keeping the students in mind as I am creating.

I want to have these things for my own students, so I may as well do it for my classroom and just put it online whenever I get it done. Bare bones, just get it up and start communicating with other teachers. Start working on this blog thing, plan to blog once a week.

There are so many things that I need to do. I never know where to start. I think I want to have some weekly things that I want to do, and the blog will be the start of that.

wish me luck!